I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
