Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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