East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
