I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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