It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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