This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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