The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
