no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
