What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
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he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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