my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
