no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
