There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
