his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
