New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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