Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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