the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
