So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
