whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
