Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There are leaves in my underwear?
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