I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm always down for nudity.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
