The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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