Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
