Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Randomize
