He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
