they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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