sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The air was thick with penises
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
