He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
