capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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