Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
