just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
