tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
