And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize