It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
