the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
