Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
