Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
