dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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