I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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