Well now I have my semen on her headphones
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
