Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
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you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
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By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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