Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
