Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
