U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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