Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize