wat bout pragnant strippers??
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
