ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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