There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
