return my video game
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
