I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
