Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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