I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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