I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
