Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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