Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
