so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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