Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
