My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Shame - the story of my life.
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