Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
