anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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