if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
