I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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