the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
